SOTM-A030 – Couponists

CouponDespite someone saying “This is not the coupon show” you can get 10% off if you have the coupon. The semi-regular cast is here featuring the lovely and talented Marilyn J, the lovely and talented Dr. Capt. Clark, the lovely and talented Steve, the lovely and talented P.W., the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, and Spike. We begin by discussing the importance of good grooming and never touching a black women’s sleeve… why Gwyneth Paltrow eats parsley and cilantro while on welfare… and eventually Spike asks “Who in the hell packages dog poop?”. After a new episode of Spike-2-Peace Theater, we figure out who among us would use the handicapped microphone.

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SOTM-A029 – The Demon of Reason

Demon Steve & his attorney Robert

Demon Steve & his attorney Robert

Like most of our other award deserving Spike On The Mic shows, this one has wonderful, thought provoking, hilarious, interesting, and informative topics featuring the lovely and talented panelists known as Dr. Captain Clark, P.W., Marilyn J., Bill Schmotz, and Spike (on the mic). I am afraid however that this particular show will haunt you forever because of the demonic possession of “The Voice of Reason” who just happens to have brought his consigliere, Robert Salermo. This episode (like most others really) is therefore not recommended for fragile youths or women who are pregnant.

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SOTM-A028 – Another Man’s Garbage

SOTM-A028If you already think that a show hosted by a linguistics expert named Spike is funny. If you already think regulars, Bill Schmotz, Dr. Captain Clark, Reasonable Steve, P-Dub, and the lovely and talented Marilyn are funny… Just wait until you’ve heard a show with a professional comedian on it… Somebody like the lovely and talented Tony Gaud (Not to be confused with the Gaud of Abraham). We highly, and unashamedly recommend you wear loose fitting clothes and comfortable shoes when you listen to this show. We are not responsible for breakage. Some settling of the contents occurs, and may contain small parts. Do not listen near an open flame.

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SOTM-A027 – Less Filling, More Testosterone

guns beerThis award deserving episode features only beings with the Y chromosome. Thus there will be no Dees… no Marilyns… no Tatias… no Monicas… and no Doctor-Captains. Our first topic of contention features a lottery winner that fails to win the lottery. The beeper reveals she is not into deep voices but is into derailing trains, while P-Dub manages to make his wife the reason some lotto prizes go uncollected. The next topic which Spike refers to as “something dear and dear to me” is called “Don’t Pour My Beer” despite the story having nothing to do with pouring beer. It’s about a man who is shot accidentally when he accidentally hands a man a can containing the wrong brand of beer. This, of course, leads Spike to visit Thailand to find women who serve beer under false pretenses. Finally, like most of our shows, this one eventually goes to the dogs. If you’d like a printed transcript of this episode you will have to hire a professional transcriber. We don’t do that.

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SOTM-A026 – Ridiculously Inebriated Podcast

CincyClarkThis episode is hosted by Dr. Captain Clark, host of The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast, because our normal host was ridiculously inebriated. The lovely and talented P.W., lovely and talented Steve, lovely and talented Marilyn J., lovely and talented Tatia, and the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, all breathe in the intoxicating fumes emanating from the lovely and toasted Spike. Despite our efforts to the contrary, this turns out to be a very entertaining episode. It does suffer from one glaring defect however caused by leaving the show’s clock in the hands of the less than focused Spike. As a result the show ends rather sudd…

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SOTM-A025 – Fertilization Camp

FertilizationCampThe regular crew of lovely and talented panelists is joined by a special guest, the lovely and talented Alex D., and our newest “regular” (Marilyn) doesn’t decide to show up until 3/4 of the way into the show. We pay our respects to our Canadian listeners in Kansas City, Spike insisted he speaks Inklish, and Alex, being new, foolishly agrees with the “Voice of Reason”. She soon realizes that she is wrong, she is not a woman, but is a Cuban. (You can’t make this stuff up). We examine a story about alternative lesbians that lose their rights because they went to a doctor. Steve complains that nobody has interviewed him in the last 5 years. But for a Spike On The Mic first we include super secret BONUS CONTENT not heard in the live show. The show ended, but we just kept going. Because… we can’t be controlled.

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SOTM-A024 – Marilyn Monday

MarilynJ On this award deserving episode of the Spike On The Mic Show, the lovely and talented Clark falls in love with a new potential cast member, the lovely and talented Marilyn J. (for whom the bell tolls… frequently). Otherwise it’s the same old crew… the lovely and talented Steve, the lovely and talented P.W., the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, and Spike (on the mic). As always we learn important things like… there’s over a thousand people in China… the person you insult on the train may be the person interviewing you for a job… women are attracted to men walking dogs… beepers aren’t attracted to men named “Clark”… “Parent Night” is coming to the Olive Garden… Spike does not like the bell ringing always for Marilyn… and we shouldn’t hope for our children to be born anything.

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SOTM-A023 – No Time Listener, 3rd Time Caller

TGLiveMorse Tonight’s show (the first one with colored wires) features a special guest; comedian Tony Gaud. Otherwise it’s the same old lovely and talented group, Dr. Captain Clark, VOR Steve, P.W., Bill Schmotz, and our host Spike (on the mic). In the interest of public safety there were no females allowed on tonight’s panel.

Mickey

Mickey

Spike gave titles to the topics which included “It’s Not My Fault”, “See Judge, It Itches Right Here”, and “Michael Vic Who?” During one of those topics we learn that Bill Schmotz likes to hide in the ladies room at The Outback. Steve introduces a new game (written on a napkin) which is over before anyone understands how to play it. Steve is also very civic minded, leaving the show several times in order to go register to vote. Next week’s show will be simulcast in Canadian for our listeners in Kansas.

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SOTM-A022 – Did I Just Have A Stroke?

Sherlock feeling constipated

Sherlock feeling constipated

This award deserving episode features a plethora of special guests, namely the lovely and talented Zack, the lovely and talented Tatia, and the lovely and talented Heather. Spike names our first topic “Numbers Don’t Lie” and describes it as “3 maffmaffical things to tell you wether success in love and happiness.” (no clue what that means) The next topic he named “What Say You?”, the moral of which, as Dr. Captain Clark says’ is “That’s how bitches do!”. A “Dear Spike On The Mic” letter inspires the crew to perform a brand new Spike2Peace Theatre episode. Spike declares our 3rd topic to be “from the files of no shit Sherlock“, and indeed the majority Caucasian panel was unanimously fine with Spike being disapproved for a home loan. Finally, Spike quotes Brian Williams saying “Tonight’s news is – some shit happened over here“, and then asks the crew if they each think Williams has lost his “news qualability“. Another high quality show, suitable for framing.

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SOTM-A021 – Clean & Sober Mumf

no-beer-logo(NOTICE: The Spike On The Mic Show would like to apologize for any reference to “Kanye” or “Yeezus”)

Tonight’s award deserving show covers the Super Bowl, among other things. P.W. denies any responsibility for the phone troubles (which were in fact his fault). Tatia complains about it always being her period. Bill Schmotz only insults his friends. Spike talks to everyone on the planet yet has trouble with biology. Steve thinks there are no winners or losers. Dr. Captain Clark advises us not to get caught, but then reveals the secrets of white people. In other words… this show is pretty much a normal show.

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