Spike is always claiming we are a caller driven show, and the crew is always laughing because nobody seems to call beside the “toilet flush guy”. But in this episode we get no less than three legitimate phone calls. We hear from former guest Michael Noble, Top Lumber Bat Co’s Dave Kowalski, and ESPN’s Jay Crawford. All of the regular shipping container occupants were in attendance. Our most award deserving show since last week.
A record number of microphones are employed in this award deserving effort to align with the voices of Spike, Schmotz, Steve, Clark, Mark, P-Dub, and our lovely and talented guests Cindy and Lynn with no “E”. Without ever intending to, we debate the various racial implications of Red Lobster vs. Cracker Barrel, which inspires Clark to claim a new “rap name”. Boston Seán calls in from New England Land, the only place that doesn’t hate The Patriots, and therefore we discover that Mark is obsessed with Tom Brady’s “hotness”. A Philly Fan (Dave Henderson) calls in from a Red Lobster to give his side of the story. And of course, if you wear too many clothes you will be kicked off the plane. Do I smell Cheddar Bay Biscuits?
It’s been so long since we did this show I couldn’t remember what it was about. But then it all came rushing back. Billie was there. Spike was there. Steve and Bill Schmotz was there. Captain Clark was there. Mark was eventually there. And unfortunately, P-Dub was there and nobody could stop him from making the stupid joke which explains the strange illustration on the left. It was a damn good show though. Maybe even award deserving. Maybe if we begged.
As this is our first show of 2018, we didn’t want to set the bar too high, and we think we were successful in that effort. It probably didn’t help that we were bumped out of our normal studio by some sort of Klan meeting. We also had at least 4 pitchers of beer on the table at one point. We talked about liquor deliveries, stolen bicycles, liquor deliveries on stolen bicycles, and then we got stuck on monkeys for a while. We also discovered some new things about the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, like how he likes to dress when he’s relaxing by a burning cross. We also managed to defame the late great Howard Cosell before we ran out of time. But, despite all that, it was clearly our best show of 2018.
Six months ago we had 3 lovely young ladies as guests on our show. For our final show of the year only one of them came back. The lovely and talented Roxy Lee. In attendance were the ever present lovely and talented Clark, the lovely and talented Steve, the lovely and talented Mark, the lovely and talented P-Dub, and of course Spike. For the second week in a row the not so lovely and talented Bill Schmotz was unable to make it, perhaps due to his lack of loveliness and talent. After we convince Clark that he never was married to Roxy, we went on to many memorable and entertaining topics, including a “What’s Twending?” and “Bee Report”. We sincerely hope that when we return again next year we can continue being the most “award deserving” show in the civilized world.
We talk about 3 things on this show, things in the future, things in the past, and things in the future… AND gigging frogs. Our first topic deals with our connections to the coming royal wedding. We stray onto the Oscars that Spike has never won. (See if you can notice when Mark sneaks in late.) Billie gives us our first decent call-in since forever. She establishes a strong claim on Steve’s title of “Voice of Reason”. Royal Wedding will be held at an Elvis Chapel next to a Wendy’s. Billie thinks it’s not fine to kill yourself at 21. Spike wants to know if it’s creepy to get a face transplant from a suicide victim who was a registered face donor, one year after he died. Makes sense? A mystery beeping noise interrupts the creepy face story. Steve uses the word “ameliorative” and no one questions it. We examine the ten things guys don’t like about women, but first discuss which order we should examine them in. Believe it or not we manage to fit in a “Bee/Duck Report”.
We start with P.W. “big timing” Mark in a gas station. Then we move on to our show slogan, followed by the revelation that John Gruden cut our lawn. I’ll bet you don’t even know we have a lawn. Listen closely, as Spike has a seizure during the first topic. Steve manages to work in a “flack joke”. We discuss getting kicked out of strip clubs… athletes without helmets getting more action… what’s twending… and the bee report (A.K.A. Duck Report)