I know we’ve said it before but this could be the most confusing show ever. We are not even sure who’s on it because not everyone was here when we started it. It starts out with a guy who wants his money back when his girlfriend breaks up with him for not wanting to get married. Spike then introduces a new segment called “What’s Good On The Mic?” which is a story about a woman named Siri, Sherry, or Yuri that does something nice. It concludes with all of us agreeing it was nice. Great segment! We then play our worst game ever, and Bill Schmotz wins it because he didn’t have to sit through the show prior to that and his mind was clear. After Clark announces “White Guys In Plaid” playing at the Straz, things get really serious. This show will be clearly marked so that no one can claim it was an accident.
This show features our lovely and talented regulars, Clark, Steve, Bill, P-Dub, and of course Spike. But this time the feminine side gets represented by a pair of lovely and talented guests, Roxanne Wilder and Dr. Gina Midyett of “Rx For Love & Success“. Within minutes the good doctor teaches us to water our own flowers. And within minutes of that Bill Schmotz somehow gets us to be talking about “teats”. I don’t know how he does it. As if that wasn’t strange enough the talk turns to bras (but oddly not from teats). But wait… wait until you hear the “Voice of Reason” in action. Find out why we suddenly have new found respect for Steve.
This show feature all our “normal” cast members with the addition of the lovely and talented Billie, and the subtraction of the lovely and talented Dr. Captain Clark. This may be the most disorganized (classic) show ever. 12 minutes in we decided to start over, and this time transmit audio. The first topic had to do with an NBA cheating theory that allowed the “Clavaneers” to win. From there we moved on to the subject of #OrlandoStrong which morphed into “The Best of The Spike Of The Mic Show”. Spike introduces a new game which he calls… “The Price Usta Be Right – Fifty/Fifty – Smack or Whack“. Eventually, the last part is revised to “Snack or Whack” without making any more sense. This is the least thought out of any game Spike didn’t think out. Part of this episode’s show title came from when he said to the listeners in the chat room, “If you two at home want to join this madness and this falalaking…“. Due to problems with “stoppage time” we kind of blend into the “Men With Mustaches Show” normally heard after ours.
This week is an “enjoyful event” with the fewest voices in a long time. Only Spike, plus the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, Steve, and P-Dub populate the panel. And yet we continue to cover important topics like… Should we cancel the cruise just because one passenger died? Or… What would you do if you were shortchanged a penny? We talk about the T.S.A. profiting from money left behind by passengers. Spike asks the burning question, “What’s more than 765,000?” No seriously, he asks that. We cover wether Cracker Jack should have better prizes. We get flushed AND hung up on. A woman who spent the first 40 years of her life deaf has her hearing restored and now can’t stand the sound of her husband. And yet we still have time to play the birthday challenge. This show has already been given a place in the Museum of Podcasting.
In attendance are the lovely and talented Clark, P-Dub, Bill Schmotz, Steve (the reason we’re all here), and John “Wesley” Johnson III. The first topic Spike calls “Mother Hubbard All Over Again” (but he actually means a different nursery rhyme). According to Spike “The Health Minister of Population is saying that they are trying to combat the apopolictic decline in the county’s birf rate in Italy”. In the topic he calls “What celebrity made being bald cool?” He says, “Let’s take a show poo!” Luckily we don’t. He also asks, “Yul Brennan… wasn’t he the guy who said Moses and the Heebro Lights wanna be doin’ some stuff?” and “Who came first, Issac or Mike?” We discuss something shiny that writes itself and wether we want to be fired in person, on the phone, or after the summer is over. I assure you, once you actually listen to this show you still won’t understand any of it.
Our regular cast of characters is joined by the lovely and talented Billie and the un-uglier Jessie Stehlik (of “Happily Ever Caffeinated“). As “Turtle Talk” says in the chatroom… “This is confusing”. Topic #1 Spike calls “Paper Or Plastic.” It’s about New York trying to encourage people to use re-usable shopping bags. But what we actually learn is that Spike thinks “Europe is a 3rd world country”. Topic #2 Spike calls, “Don’t Hold Your Breff. It’s Only A Test.” Apparently Spike thinks that people shouldn’t have colored gas. This problem is solved when “Mapadmin” (in the chatroom) recommends using Febreze. Topic #3 is “Totally Useless Facts”. Maximum possible score is 7 points. Minimum possible score is 8 points. Yet the winner receives 84 points, because nothing rhymes with “munf”. The new Spike On The Mic mascot is a caterpillar that can fire it’s poop great distances, much like the show itself. This show was fired several feet.
This week’s show features many happy “returns”. Besides our normal lovely and talented crew members, this week marks the return of the lovely and talented Cindi & Lynn along with the lovely and talented Steve & Wesley. We ran out of microphones. Topic #1 called “No Work & Pay” involved a man named Fredrick in French near the Isles Of Langerhan who sued his employer for giving him $90,000 a year to do nothing. Topic #2 started out as something about a small town not wanting a chicken factory, but ended up providing us the opportunity to say the word “nicker” over and over. Topic #3 involved a 70 year old criminal who got herself busted for borrowing a book from the library when she was 3 years old and not returning it until she was 70. The final topic involves taking selfies with unconscious (a.k.a. sleeping) lovers. This gives Bill Schmotz the opportunity to imply he is sleeping with “J-Lo” when, in fact, we know he sleeps with “Jello”.
With help from special guests, the lovely and talented Billie, Tatia, and “Old School”, we learn from Spike that we are “a hodge mattodge cosmotodge”. So we talk about the past, the present, the future, scientology, and underage drinking ninjas. Spike tells us that “the guy on the mountain” said, “It is better to not say anything and let people think that you you know what your saying, than to say something and don’t do it.” (I hadn’t heard that one) Spike calls our second topic “O.K. Now What?” which could easily be the name of all our topics. But Tatia does manage to mention having “amazing tits” which makes the whole topic worthwhile. During our discussion of “political correctness” Old School demonstrates why he’s not on very often by making too much good sense. Steve calls in and in just a couple of minutes erases any sympathy that may have built up due to his “absence”. Oh, did we mention the Villaggio Ristorante at 102 Flagship Dr, Lutz, FL, offering authentic Italian cuisine since 1989?
Clark is back, but Steve’s a no show. The lovely and talented ladies known as Cindi & Lynn (no E) return after an extended absence. The early part of the show gets devoted to all us tax filing procrastinators, and we explain to Spike the finer points of filing for an extension. During our first topic (if you don’t count taxes), which Clark calls “Look Before You Tweet”, a chat room listener named “Donkey Time” announces he’s leaving to find a better show. We gave him Steve’s address. I know it’s odd, but “Ketchup & Slaves” get grouped together during a topic in which Spike asks us to guess what should be on a list of the top 12 things that should be free. As usual it turns out that the article is actually a list of commonly used things, and how to get them for free, and that Spike hadn’t actually read the article. Then we learn two very interesting things… 1. There’s such a thing as an “informal rodeo”, and 2. participants at an informal rodeo use spurs and whips to injure each other. Clark helps us wrap up the show by letting us all know “What’s Trending?”. This show has been recommended by 4 out of 5 dentists that chew gum.
This episode features nearly our full cast. We are joined by the lovely and talented comedian John “Wesley” Johnson III, who we have adopted, and the lovely and talented comedian Tony Gaud, who joins us at least once a month. The only one missing is Clark, who has been on sabbatical but should rejoin us Monday April 18th. Steve starts out in a bad mood and we only make it worse by making fun of his bees. The 1st topic Spike calls “Female or Food, I can’t remember”. Spike tells us a study found that you should marry an intelligent woman to avoid “dimension” or perhaps just eat nutritious foods. Somehow this gets back to Steve’s gay bees that have purchased a new “Queen”. Steve gets sensitive and threatens to quit showing up, and of course Spike reacts by threatening to suspend him. We attempt to change the topic to Spike’s boycotting Oreos, but it turns out it’s hard to give up Oreos. Topic 3 brings us all back into focus because it involves a school teacher twerking. I have a feeling that Steve will be pissed and stay home with his bees for a couple of weeks until he eventually realizes that Spike pays for the beer on Monday nights, and he never should have given that up.