This award deserving episode features only beings with the Y chromosome. Thus there will be no Dees… no Marilyns… no Tatias… no Monicas… and no Doctor-Captains. Our first topic of contention features a lottery winner that fails to win the lottery. The beeper reveals she is not into deep voices but is into derailing trains, while P-Dub manages to make his wife the reason some lotto prizes go uncollected. The next topic which Spike refers to as “something dear and dear to me” is called “Don’t Pour My Beer” despite the story having nothing to do with pouring beer. It’s about a man who is shot accidentally when he accidentally hands a man a can containing the wrong brand of beer. This, of course, leads Spike to visit Thailand to find women who serve beer under false pretenses. Finally, like most of our shows, this one eventually goes to the dogs. If you’d like a printed transcript of this episode you will have to hire a professional transcriber. We don’t do that.
This episode is hosted by Dr. Captain Clark, host of The Ridiculously Inconsistent Podcast, because our normal host was ridiculously inebriated. The lovely and talented P.W., lovely and talented Steve, lovely and talented Marilyn J., lovely and talented Tatia, and the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, all breathe in the intoxicating fumes emanating from the lovely and toasted Spike. Despite our efforts to the contrary, this turns out to be a very entertaining episode. It does suffer from one glaring defect however caused by leaving the show’s clock in the hands of the less than focused Spike. As a result the show ends rather sudd…
The regular crew of lovely and talented panelists is joined by a special guest, the lovely and talented Alex D., and our newest “regular” (Marilyn) doesn’t decide to show up until 3/4 of the way into the show. We pay our respects to our Canadian listeners in Kansas City, Spike insisted he speaks Inklish, and Alex, being new, foolishly agrees with the “Voice of Reason”. She soon realizes that she is wrong, she is not a woman, but is a Cuban. (You can’t make this stuff up). We examine a story about alternative lesbians that lose their rights because they went to a doctor. Steve complains that nobody has interviewed him in the last 5 years. But for a Spike On The Mic first we include super secret BONUS CONTENT not heard in the live show. The show ended, but we just kept going. Because… we can’t be controlled.
On this award deserving episode of the Spike On The Mic Show, the lovely and talented Clark falls in love with a new potential cast member, the lovely and talented Marilyn J. (for whom the bell tolls… frequently). Otherwise it’s the same old crew… the lovely and talented Steve, the lovely and talented P.W., the lovely and talented Bill Schmotz, and Spike (on the mic). As always we learn important things like… there’s over a thousand people in China… the person you insult on the train may be the person interviewing you for a job… women are attracted to men walking dogs… beepers aren’t attracted to men named “Clark”… “Parent Night” is coming to the Olive Garden… Spike does not like the bell ringing always for Marilyn… and we shouldn’t hope for our children to be born anything.
Tonight’s show (the first one with colored wires) features a special guest; comedian Tony Gaud. Otherwise it’s the same old lovely and talented group, Dr. Captain Clark, VOR Steve, P.W., Bill Schmotz, and our host Spike (on the mic). In the interest of public safety there were no females allowed on tonight’s panel.Spike gave titles to the topics which included “It’s Not My Fault”, “See Judge, It Itches Right Here”, and “Michael Vic Who?” During one of those topics we learn that Bill Schmotz likes to hide in the ladies room at The Outback. Steve introduces a new game (written on a napkin) which is over before anyone understands how to play it. Steve is also very civic minded, leaving the show several times in order to go register to vote. Next week’s show will be simulcast in Canadian for our listeners in Kansas.
(NOTICE: The Spike On The Mic Show would like to apologize for any reference to “Kanye” or “Yeezus”)
Tonight’s award deserving show covers the Super Bowl, among other things. P.W. denies any responsibility for the phone troubles (which were in fact his fault). Tatia complains about it always being her period. Bill Schmotz only insults his friends. Spike talks to everyone on the planet yet has trouble with biology. Steve thinks there are no winners or losers. Dr. Captain Clark advises us not to get caught, but then reveals the secrets of white people. In other words… this show is pretty much a normal show.
Clark thinks Kansas City is in Canada. Special guest Tatia (pronounced “tashya”) hates old people. The Beeper still hates Clark, and would even if Clark was black. We discuss burying pets with us when we die, even if the pets don’t feel quite ready… The court has ruled one way or the other… P.W. rules that Steve must be catheterized… Boston Shawn calls to discuss his balls shrinking… and Clark wins our first contest with no correct answers. Needless to say, (but I’ll say it anyway), Clark really liked the new contest.
Because it’s MLK’s birthday, Spike says it’s “his people’s day” and decides to take a back seat during the show. As a result we learn… how NOT to rob O.T.B., that The Beeper is “of white desession“, that Arthur Treacher was a real person, that cats will sleep with alligators, and that Dr. Capt. Clark works undercover in comedy clubs manufacturing exploding glitter packages. A show so good… so award deserving… that you are likely to wet your pants while we take your picture. Don’t ask. Oh… and you will also learn how this episode became associated with the late great Arthur Fiedler, and how he got on the roof.
Monica rejoins the crew after a long absence and provides our only female voice. Unfortunately we are all preoccuppied by the story of her naked encounter with a huge bug which she told us about just before the show started. We deal with the Pope and his approval of bare breasts in the 16th chapel. (I know. What about the other 15 chapels, right?) We discuss various goings on in WalMart… Tony Gorganzola calls in, and then we are suddenly swing dancing in a Winnebago traveling across the country, and Steve unexpectedly now agrees to spooning with P-Dub. Clark is about to get lucky but then admits he’s holding back a fart, which is apparently a deal killer, and we prove just how ready we are for primetime by the way we mishandle the clock at the end of our show. Another award deserving show.